Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

Is the big day! Tomorrow on Halloween my cozy mystery is coming out and I don't know quite what to do with myself.

It's going to be a busy day all around because my husband's family LOVES Halloween, they are obsessed with it, and every year they do a huge haunted maze for the entire neighborhood and scare the living daylights out of everyone. This year we're erecting a bunch of different doors in the maze, so visitors have to open them to try and find their way out. Each door leads to a creepy scene or a dead end or another door. We've been working on it for days. Even went so far as to paint decaying skeletons and erect them on a gallows with rope. There will be pictures tomorrow once it's all finished.

For now, I have to go paint skeletons with liquid latex and varnish...a writer's work is never done.

My Favorite Mystery Shows

1. Supernatural: Does this count as a mystery show? I'm going to say it does...because...it's Supernatural

2. Bones

3. Law and Order SVU:

4: Revenge: More of a soap opera than a mystery, but I think it counts, right?

5. Lost: I didn't say the show still had to be on the air, did I?

6. Fringe:

7. Dexter:

8. Psych:

9. The Originals:

10: Sleepy Hollow:

My Favorite Cozy Mysteries

This is a pretty straight forward rundown of the awesome authors who have impacted my cozy mystery career. Plus, I just really enjoy reading these series. In no particular order:

1. Kate Carlisle Bibliophile Mysteries:

2. Gemma Hailiday High Heels Mysteries:

3. Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum and Co.:

4. Charlienne Harris Aurora Teagarden Mysteries:

5. Ali Brandon Black Cat Bookshop Mysteries:

6. Diane Mott Davidson's Goldy Bear Mysteries:

7. Madelyn Alt's Bewitching Mystery Series:

Bonus Round:

My first ever cozy mystery that I ever read:

Published in 1997!

Deadlines is Available for Preorder on Amazon

This sums up about how I feel right now:

Now that Deadlines, my first book in the Written to Death series is available on Amazon for preorder! Get a copy of Ainsley Moss and Co HERE for only .99 cents for a limited time.

How to Signup for an ARC of Deadlines the first Written To Death Mystery

Would you like an ARC (advanced reader copy) of the first book in my obituary cozy mystery series, Deadlines? Can you read and review the book before October 31st or at the latest November 10th? If you've answered yes to both these questions please fill out my handy dandy form HERE. If you'd like to know what exactly you'll be getting into, please see the blurb below:

Ainsley Moss never thought she’d become a representative for the dead. But as a newbie obituary writer for the Aurora Fall’s Guardian, she gets a sneak peek at her new profession. Her ex-best friend and rival newspaper worker turns up blue and stiff as a board in the women’s bathroom—after they’ve had a less than civil confrontation.

Ainsley’s in the habit of memorializing the dead, not finding them. But now she’s saddled with a motive for murder—killing to drum up obituaries in order to further her career in a dying newspaper business where everything is going digital.

When another victim meets his maker with a connection to the first victim, Ainsley has to make nice with a hard ass, bombshell Detective who’s dead set on closing the case or risk the calm of their cozy town. Ainsley’s charming, ex-boyfriend turned roommate comes to her aid as they throw themselves into deadly research. Every obituary interview brings them that much closer to finding a killer connection. While fighting her new rep as a prime suspect, her matchmaking, Stepford mother is intent on keeping her daughter’s dirty laundry under wraps and her sex addicted wealthy grandparents want to buy her way out of jail. Or at least help her learn how to make a shiv.

None too thrilled with the idea of making friends with a cell mate named Betty the Bruiser, she’ll wade knee deep into a cesspool of the town’s secrets, gossip, and lies. But with a whacky cast of characters hell bent on keeping the peace, no bit of personal information is sacred. They have to find a killer—before Ainsley loses her freedom and her chance to make peace with a fate that scares her more than anything else in life.

What It's Like To Write About Dead Bodies

On a typical Saturday afternoon I'm plotting how to use windshield wiper fluid to kill someone.

Say that three times fast before the fear of the cops hunting you down crosses your mind.

Or how exactly a knife to the gut will create blood spatter patterns on a wood floor (thanks, Dexter) and how long it will take the victim to bleed out. Fictionally killing someone on a regular basis is both fun and creepy. Mostly creepy because murder isn't supposed to be this much fun. But Google is my friend and there are limitless ways to drag the life out of a human body. The poison list alone is astounding.

Normally and ideally, as a genre cozy writer, I want the death to be quick and played out off "screen" aka page--but that doesn't mean my killer doesn't want to relish in it. Even if my readers only see the end result, the death can be as gruesome as the murderer wants so long as we tamp down the ick factor.

A death all depends on motive and opportunity. It's all an elaborate game of Clue, but for grownups. Is my murder intentional or a crime of passion which could be spur of the moment? What's available as a weapon? Weapons can be limitless, even the human body can be used as a weapon depending if the killer knows of a victim's certain fatal allergies. Does the killer want the victim to suffer or does the victim need to be disposed of quickly so that the killer can level off the guilt from their shoulders and continue to live life?

These are the questions I have to ask myself before I think up the perfect murder. And there's normally more than just one that I get to plan for every book.

Sure, a knife or a gun will do the trick in a pinch, but my killer's tend to like to get a little more creative. Or maybe they just know that I enjoy the research.

At first writing and researching how to kill someone felt weird, illicit, and dangerous. Constantly looking over my shoulder and wanting to scream "It's just fiction, I swear"! Now it's kind of like a little game.

That's probably weird, right? Because the bodies sure aren't anymore.

Cover Reveal: Deadlines: A Written to Death Mystery

My awesome cover for my new cozy mystery series featuring my colorful graduate school student turned hometown obituary writer, Ainsley Moss. 

Minus a few of her crucial piercings, the cover is pretty true to life for my alt girl turned amateur sleuth. Some of Ainsley's favorites include her pink Vespa, latte's, Billy Idol, and researching long hours into the night. But she could do without her meddling mother, her ex-childhood friend turned roomie, Gage Sullivan, and a pile of dead bodies. Yeah, those didn't come with a manual.

Ainsley Moss never thought she’d become a representative for the dead. But as a newbie obituary writer for the Aurora Fall’s Guardian, she gets a sneak peek at her new profession. Her ex-best friend and rival newspaper worker turns up blue and stiff as a board in the women’s bathroom—after they’ve had a less than civil confrontation.

Ainsley’s in the habit of memorializing the dead, not finding them. But now she’s saddled with a motive for murder—killing to drum up obituaries in order to further her career in a dying newspaper business where everything is going digital.

When another victim meets his maker with a connection to the first victim, Ainsley has to make nice with a hard ass, bombshell Detective who’s dead set on closing the case or risk the calm of their cozy town. Ainsley’s charming, ex-boyfriend turned roommate comes to her aid as they throw themselves into deadly research. Every obituary interview brings them that much closer to finding a killer connection. While fighting her new rep as a prime suspect, her matchmaking, Stepford mother is intent on keeping her daughter’s dirty laundry under wraps and her sex addicted wealthy grandparents want to buy her way out of jail. Or at least help her learn how to make a shiv.

None too thrilled with the idea of making friends with a cell mate named Betty the Bruiser, she’ll wade knee deep into a cesspool of the town’s secrets, gossip, and lies. But with a whacky cast of characters hell bent on keeping the peace, no bit of personal information is sacred. They have to find a killer—before Ainsley loses her freedom and her chance to make peace with a fate that scares her more than anything else in life.

A Little Introduction

I've been struggling with how to do this for a little over a month now, so I'm just going to go for it and pretend I'm not nervous. Some of you may know me as Elise Hepner, erotica and erotic romance writer, but over here--over here is where I play with the dead bodies.

I started my reading career with mysteries, thrillers, and suspense. I was reading Iris Johanson and Agatha Christie way before Maya Banks and Megan Hart. I kind of dropped into erotic romance's lap without much small talk after college and it was so, so alluring. Plus I needed time to admit to myself that I had the strength to knock out a mystery, a twisty, twindy, slippery bastard of a book. That book came to me a year and a half ago in the form of Deadlines, until I became a slave to it's story. But I still had no idea if I was doing it right (little known fact, I'm a bit of a perfectionist) to the point where it's taken me this long to get the guts to shove my little cozy mystery out into the world before I cower behind my blanket.

Well, here I am.